As I read a post from
waste-my-time-x7.xanga.com I was writing a comment that I decided would be better as a blog since it was getting a little lengthy. The post is here
http://www.datingish.com/703159751/can-you-see-yourself-marrying-the-person-youre-da/# and my question is this: Why is marriage the destination of all relationships? If you are in a relationship and you are not thinking marriage then the relationship is considered to be going nowhere. It is hard today to find a marriage that lasts. If you are dating someone and living with them, in my opinion you are just as much married as the next couple. Marriage gets you a few extra privileges but that is about it, you can live with the person you are dating, you can have a child with the person you are dating, you can have joint bank accounts with the person you are dating, you can buy a house and car with the person you are dating. The list can go on and on but most marriages these days end in divorce so by dating you can help reduce the divorce rate in this country. A lot of people it seems actually get married to try and save the relationship instead of facing facts and ending it, they get married then end up getting a divorce within five years. It would be amazing to see a marriage even last that long these days. My point is you can live a very happy normal life with someone you are dating without being married, if more people were being lax about relationships instead of being uptight and stressed out about the thought of marriage the relationship can go a lot smoother, and they actually might stay together longer that way. It is so sad to see people criticized and looked down upon because they don't want marriage, you hear a girl say she doesn't want to be married and she is labeled a "slut". I do not agree with that at all and I am tired of ignorant people judging other people just because they do not agree with some of their views.
Comments (7)
So lets just make no effort at keeping the family together at all. Kids are happiest in split up homes anyway.
Honestly I thought this post was ignorant.
The only line I agree with is the one about people who get married to try to fix their relationship are not very wise.
@MicheleWasHere - I think you misunderstood the post. I am very for keeping a family together. But marriage does not define family. Marriage is between two people, not kids. I know people who are not married but do have kids and both parents are together under the same roof unmarried and they are a very happy family.
@kyleberg29 - But marriage is the commitment that you are promising to stay with them forever. It's easier to leave when not married. And true a lot of people abuse marrige by getting married too quickly and are also quick to leave and not sort out their problems, but some people, myself included (married for over 2 years) meant it when we promised to stay together till death, and the only thing that would make me leave my husband is cheating or abuse. If you are trying to keep your family together with everything you have, than why would you not want to make that commitment? Apparently some part of you is holding back, but I don't think it should be like that especially if you are planning on having kids.
I also don't believe in single moms trying to get pregnant and not planning on staying with the guy. I think children need both a mom and a dad. Of course if a girl gets pregnant on accident I wouldn't say just marry the guy or abort the kid.. in that case it may be best for her to raise it on her own but I don't think it is fair to kids to intentionally do that. I think it is selfish.
I think family and marriage are important to sum it all up.
@MicheleWasHere - Haha Yeah I understand what you are saying and there is a lot of people out there who share your beliefs, although I am not someone who needs to have a marriage to make that commitment, I don't need a piece of paper saying I am married to make me keep my promises, you know?
Why would you not get married then if you were promising to be with this person until death? Doesn't really make much sense to me honestly. I think it's destroying the family structure to live like that and just adds to how lightly sex and commitment are taken now a days.
The problem is commitment and value of marriage has been taken away by society. It is way to easy to get divorced. You start having trouble in your relationship/marriage, most people opt for the easy way out. Marriage is work. Your commited with one person to reach your comon goals
A person gets married and starts climbing the mountian of life. Then this person you love til death do we part, breaks a leg, so now you have to carry this person. The mountain just got a whole lot bigger. The person is heavy and making you tired, you question your love/commitment. Society says you can walk away or do you stay and work with this person to get through the mountain.
In a relationship, your mind set is different. There's no ring on my finger, therefore, no commitment, no pressure to make it work. At any time you can walk away.
People today use love like a light switch. I love u, I don't love u. In reality they don't know what love is and will never experence true love.Would you die for them? If this person ripped your heart from your chest, would you defend them?
Society has lowered the standard of life so much that there is no family value. Why get married to divorce
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